Reclaiming My Power
Many of us truly don’t know what is going on with another person on a deep level most of the time. Heck! Many of us don’t even pay attention to what is going on with ourselves. Sometimes that is by personal choice and sometimes it is Universal choice for our own learning and self-growth. I have done a lot of work on myself over the years (a healing journey that I began to reclaim missing aspects of my lost soul and indeed my personal power) and have changed MUCH for the better. I feel that the Universe puts “blinders” on us sometimes and makes us stupid (even though we generally know better). This is usually done for our highest good to learn a lesson, for self-growth and awareness.
I think it was time to put some things/old beliefs and thoughts/concepts and more to the test for me last year. Yes, it all started back in early Spring of last year. My blinders were fitted nicely on me at that time and continued to stay on up to the end of 2013. They weren’t always on. Actually, at times, I had some of the most insightful, inspiring, intuitive awareness during this time frame. But when they were on, I could not see TRUTH, feel it or live it at times. I could not hear WISDOM (from myself or others). I would have that “something just isn’t quite right and I can’t put my finger on it” feeling. This was a “feeling” I experienced with people I came into contact with, life encounters I had, situations that presented themselves to me. Something was speaking to me, but I was brushing it to the side and ignoring it.
Our souls speak to us all the time. Yet, are we connected with them and listening? Are we paying attention to signs and patterns they are offering us? The longer you ignore your soul’s guidance and assistance, the louder she/he will get.
Last year, I found myself coming from a place of fear, of lack, not being good enough, not worthy, questioning many things that I was doing or thought to do, feeling weak, small and without purpose. Along the way, I had signs, insightful dreams, coincidences, synchronicities and LOTS of feelings all last year, but didn’t notice what was really going on. Yes, it went on for 9 months. I didn’t realize it till mid December last year (2013) and it hit me like a load of bricks. That smack was a break through! I had been giving my power away. It opened me up in such an immense way that I will always be grateful for the whole experience and build up of the transformation. Knowing what I know now, I would do it over again. That kind of life changing insight and awareness!
I lost touch with my soul’s guidance and wound up feeling lost, confused, disconnected, stressed out, lonely, and out of touch with the purpose and meaning of my life. I got so wrapped up in my head. I listened to others “suggestions and advice” too much and not myself/my soul. My own inner GPS was turned off.
“If you do not value who or what you are, you will seek to fill your emptiness from the outside world. All that you need is inside you. No one can know more about your path and purpose than you do, and the power you ascribe to external authorities eventually explodes in your face, leaving you even more defenceless and vulnerable,” writes Alan Cohen in his book, Taking Your Power Back.
We give away our power when we make an external agency – a person, situation, or event, more important than us. There’s nothing wrong in asking for opinions and gaining insight from others, but take it in, process it and see how it feels for YOU and your life. I thought that I had to be doing something. Making a difference. Creating a business. Putting myself out there. I was looking outside of myself. Now, don’t think that I went to the “dark side” or anything like that. It is not in me or who I am. I was existing, putting more worth into what other people said and trying to mimic it in my life and it just didn’t seem right to me. It didn’t flow. I lost passion in several things that usually brought me joy. I stopped taking care of myself in ways that were important to me. I stopped exercising consistently.
I called out to my Soul and the Universe for guidance many times, but it felt shadowed, murky and, at times, not even there, because I was calling out from fear. I know I was protected – I FELT it – but it didn’t seem like it. In hindsight, I know she (my soul) was there the whole time guiding me lovingly, allowing me my free will to experience what I needed for this growth and awareness.
“Whenever we feel lost, or insane, or afraid, all we have to do is ask for soul/ Divine help. The help might not come in the form we expected, or even thought we desired, but it will come, and we will recognize it by how we feel. In spite of everything, we will feel at peace.”
― Marianne Williamson
Our souls are on our side. On our team. Have our backs and always working for our highest good. This guidance shows itself in many different ways. My soul speaks to me through dreams, physical symptoms, gut instincts, synchronicity and several other ways as needed. It used to freak me out, but now I love it. I embrace it. A grand friendship.
Our souls love us and want to support us. To have freedom, peace, love, self-growth, joy, awareness and more about ourselves . They desire us to integrate and connect with our True Selves. Once those “blinders” were gone, I saw everything like a movie running through my head. It took me some time to process everything. I have been reclaiming and owning my power again. Reconnecting with my soul’s guidance was medicine for my soul and heart. She’s back loud and clear and I’m listening. It’s not something that is done once. We have to do again and again. It’s a lifetime practice. Start opening to your own innate, unadulterated, and “tailored-to-you” wisdom that is already within you. Make choices that are loving for YOURSELF and YOUR life—with your diet, your relationships, Your priorities, your desires and in speaking your loving truth from your heart. That all of it is in alignment for YOUR highest good. Not someone else’s. YOU know best!